ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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