This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
