Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
