You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
