Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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