I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
