? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
