She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
