Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
