I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
