She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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