It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
