I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
