You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
