girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
