he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
