i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
