There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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