Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
