She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Who died my cat blue again?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
