Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
