Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
