no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
