I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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