Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
