He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
