dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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