Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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