so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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