I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
