And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
