So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
