You can't special order awesome
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
