If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
