Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The air was thick with penises
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
