My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
