Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
