Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
