Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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