I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
