let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
