I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
