I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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