So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
