Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
