arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
