why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
