i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
