I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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