I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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