Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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